all good things come to an end

it would appear that Morpheus has died...Morpheus...that's my laptop.

All I know is that is he was running fine when I left my apartment to get dinner across the street, and when I came back...black screen. I've troubleshot everything, short of completely disassembling him, but I'm not sure that would help.

thank you in advance for your sympathy

100

to celebrate my 100th post, I'm letting everyone know that I've now gone Linux full time. I desired a new challenge on the computer front, and since I can't afford a new Mac and don't want Vista, I went with Linux. I found a nice primer on Suse (Soo-say) 10.2 that gives me all the functionality of Windows or OS X.

I turn 31 next Tuesday...go me

haha

http://www.drudgereport.com/flash8.htm


too funny

STEAK N SHAKE!!!

IT'S HERE!! IT'S HERE!! IT'S HERE!! IT'S HERE!! IT'S HERE!! IT'S HERE!! did I mention IT'S HERE?


yeah...so I'm a little excited...ten minutes away instead of fifty...yes, I drove to Gurnee JUST for Steak 'n' Shake, and I took a few of you with me.

I was able to eat at the new SnS in Wauwatosa tonight after work. They're in training mode, so I expected a few hiccups. My server was polite and did a good job, and the food was good....although...the burger tasted a wee bit different than I recall. I'm sure they'll get things ironed out. I found it amusing to be a seasoned veteran in a sea of rookies. The place was full...reminded me of the good ol' days in Pekin, after going out on a Saturday night, heading to the SnS for food.

Busy busy busy lately. My days have been up by 6am, work at 7 til 4:30, then off to a client in the evening, home by 9 or so...wind down...head to bed by 10-10:30. Lather rinse repeat.

Chicago Auto Show this weekend. I'm going with Holly's Dad and Brother-in-law. Should be really cool

I'm getting tired of the cold. It's not so much the cold really, but the wind. And the dryness...my hands are dry. My nose dries out while I sleep, and I wake up having breathed thru my mouth, and my throat is dry as well. Time to snag a humidifier.

Superbowl was fun to watch...even if it rained the entire game.

Daytona.....mmmmmm...racecars.

so.....

so while my Windows box is updating, I'll post from my Linux box :P

Things are going well lately. Work is going smoothly. I believe part of it is my adjustment in attitude that I may very well have a career that I have landed in, as well as the new store. Joe's been in a fair mood lately, so that helps.

I'm going to bed at a reasonable hour, so I can sleep at night and not drag my tail the next day. I've also stopped caffeinating after 8pm on most night, so I sleep better. It seems to be helping as I feel more rested when I wake up.

The hardest part of my day...is getting out of bed. Once I'm out of bed, I'm golden...it's throwing back the covers and setting my feet on the floor that seems to be difficult.

"Humility and the fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life" Proverbs 22:4

how do you see yourself?

So, how do you see yourself?

I made this little picture at www.weemee.com, courtesy of a link from my friend Julie

How'd I do?

a cold caught me

Forgive me Blogger, it's been 19 days since my last post

it's Friday night, and I'm home sick. Head cold. I don't say "I caught a cold", I say "a cold caught me" because I don't go looking to catch colds.

The walgreens across the street has a layout in mind like a grocery store, meaning, you have to walk to the far back corner for cough medicine and vitamins.

Shockingly, I did NOT get carded when buying my Tylenol Cold Multi-sypmtom ("NEW!"), so it must not have any ingredients capable of producing meth.

I want my head to stop hurting. It feels like it's in a vice. The only time it hasn't lately is when I came home early from work and laid down. If I lay on my back, my headache ebbs and my sinuses open up a bit, but I can only lay down for so long without falling asleep. I have the Bucks game on my clock radio, but even that can't keep me from wanting to do SOMETHING..ANYTHING..but be sick.

the night air on the walk over to Walgreens felt nice, even though it's weird to have a January evening be 45 degrees. I wonder if the warmer temps have anything to do with my cold, perhaps some germs that didn't die off due to the weather not getting cold enough...

bleah

Forgive me Blogger, for it's been a long time since my last post.

I'm angry

I try not to post angry, since I'm working on being more tactful...I tend to shoot from the hip, so I'm going to do my best to hold my tongue...

In case you look at the time, I'm in church right now...I'm up in the sound booth.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only one who makes things work at church...no one else would fill the baptismal...so I did it....I'm doing all the sound for the children's program, which meant practices for the last couple Sunday mornings, and yesterday from 9-12ish, then I filled the baptismal for today...

Holly's worried about me, that I'm doing too much...I worry that if I don't do these things, who will? Is that pride...or is it desire to serve?

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned; it's been 17 days since my last post.

Patience is the lesson lately. Waiting for things to sort themselves out...work, relationships, waiting for the holiday weekend so I can drive home and see my family.

Work is going well actually...Joe and I had a discussion and things are much smoother now. This week has been slow, since so many electricians like to hunt. One more day...

the side business continues to draw interest...patience in not wanting too much, too soon

patience in waiting for the Steak n Shake to get built in Wauwatosa....so close, yet so far...

Patience with myself, in many areas

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned; it's been nine days since my last post

This week was an interesting one. I wasn't home before 8 any night this week. Work was up and down, but ended on an upswing Friday. Monday night was the second night of Upwards evals, and we have 260 kids signed up for basketball...I'm looking forward to coaching again

Tuesday I drove the truck for work...nothing exciting, just a bit of extra cash.

Wednesday I had a client. Turns out we're doing a solid upgrade to replace a motherboard. As soon as the parts are in, I'll go back to take care of business. Holly came over after her class so we could hang out a bit :)

Thursday...long day at work. Got done about 45 minutes after the usual time. Called my client for that night, who told me to take my time and get dinner, no need to rush. Got the computer taken care of, went home, and read a day in the book study we're doing in our young adult group at church.

Friday, work was light. On my way home, I check my phone and see that I have a message. Turns out, an old friend of mine is in the hospital; his sister called me to tell me. I head to Froedert to see Chad. Chad managed to end up in the hospital with a nasty foot infection. A couple of years ago, he was diagnosed with diabetes, and lost a toe then. Now, one of his feet had blistered up and gotten infected, due to walking alot for one of his jobs. The doctors were discussing how much of the foot to amputate. I sat with Chad for a bit, talked seriously about his condition, then lightened up and caught up with each other for a bit. Before they wheeled him off to surgery, I prayed with him. I went to sit with his folks and sister, then his dad and I went to get a bite to eat. After that, we all met up again, then I headed home.

Saturday, inventory at the Mothership in Brookfield. Company provided doughnuts, then off to count. I was partnered with Laura, who's pretty cool. Got a call from Chad's sister Carrie, informing me that the doctors had taken Chad's foot at the ankle, and would have a follow up surgery in a day or two to take some more of the lower leg. I've been thinking about Chad all day. Holly and I have tickets with her folks to Romeo and Juliet, and I think at some point my mind will be distracted enough. It pains me to feel helpless in times like this, when I have a friend going through such a trial. I know God is in control and puts us through nothing we cannot bear, but it's still hurts.

gamebreak

so, I called Detroit in 6 for the Series...

Holly noticed that I'm rooting for the Cardinals.

allow me to explain:

I am sticking by my original predicition of Detroit in 6. This pick was based on the different match ups between the clubs and the pitching rotations. Now, having said that, I would like to see the Cardinals win the whole thing.

thatisall

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned; it has been eleven days since my last post...

Once again, many thoughts, but how to expound on them?

Work is interesting...I'm still getting used to my manager/co-worker...he's obsessive and anal, but in a mostly laid back way...I think that makes sense. We chatted a bit today about how I was doing, and overall he's pleased with my work ethic and my ability.

I'm calling it now: Detroit in 6

The purge continues...Holly is a great motivator in spite of me

Got to hook up with an old friend last night...for a while I gave Matt a hand teching at his church...I happened to be in Racine last night, so I stopped by his place for a spell...helped him fix one of his machines and hot rodded his router :D

settling in...

My apartment is starting to feel like home...the network is up, food is in the cupboard, I have adornments on the walls (the sombrero lives on)...

I've managed to, with Holly's help, start going thru my old stuff and throwing out the trash. Soon we'll start sorting thru my old clothes and see what's worth keeping, Goodwilling and what will get voted off the island...

Work continues to be interesting. Today was my first day in the Falls, I think it will be alright...I suppose we'll find out.

To borrow from my friend Katee, I was excited to use my Pick n Save card while paying for my groceries tonight...I saved around 5 bucks....but man it felt nice!

well, I'm all moved in to my new place. Thanx to all who helped...it was greatly appreciated...

more to come later..too tired

that new apartment smell...

sitting in my new place, on the floor, thinking it would be good if I moved the rest of my stuff in. The computers were first, since I needed at least one to set up my cable connection...time to get back to work and move! :P

a new beginning

I take over my new place on October 1st officially. Tonight I called regarding power and other utilities (DSL) and was able to get connected with one call...very nice

I suppose I could post my address here...if anyone wants it :P

funny how things work out

maybe I'm now anxious, but I can't seem to fall asleep tonight...

spent much of yesterday doing nothing, aside from tinkering with my own computers. confirmed my apartment...made dinner for Holly and I, watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, then headed over to the Mosaic to catch some piano tunes with our friend Sarah. After that, Holly and I headed to the Twisted Fork to harass my roommate Rob, who manages there. While we were there, watching people on North and Farwell, I see a familiar face walking down the street. As I say to Holly "Hey...that's Jean", Jean points at me and says "CHAD!!"...exchange of phone numbers takes place with promises to call and get together...

That totally made my day and quite possibly my week. As Holly stated, I seem to have a knack for bumping into someone I know, and if I don't, I get to know somebody I bump into.

good things come...

to those who wait...

Monday night I meet with my future landlord to sign the lease on my new apartment.

84th and Greenfield for those who are curious...more details to come as they are available. Phone # stays the same as does my email.

yay :)

tonight I went to look at an apartment in West Allis...I've got a good feeling about it. It's a good price and it's a in a good location for work and everything else that I do. I'd like to have housing nailed down by the weekend, and I might just be able to pull that off...I feel somewhat relieved...

I remember where I was 5 years ago when I heard the news. I was standing in the crane bay at Perlick, working, cutting something on the bandsaw I ran. Rainer came over to me and mentioned that a place had hit of the towers of the World Trade Center. I nodded my acknowledgement and wondered how a place, like a Cessna, had hit the WTC? Rainer told me when the second plane hit...then it sank in...a jet...

I remember those minutes, hours, days and weeks after...I was bumped to second shift, so I stayed up late watching the news every night, not going to bed until 3 or 4 in the morning. I kept hoping that someone else would be found alive amongst the rubble and carnage, that one more person wouldn't die from the attack...

I remember when the US went into Afghanistan, to get Bin Laden. I was keen on the mission that the B-2's were flying out of Kansas City, loaded with bunker busters. I wanted to see Bin Laden face what he had done.

I remember the uncertainty of those days and weeks...not sure really what to do, what to say. I know I call my family more in those days, to talk, to share, to love...

I remember that at some point in the last 5 years, everything got political. We aren't people anymore, but party members, or a demographic.

I remember that on September 11, 2001, the very thing we watched on the news that always happened on "their" soil, happened here.

I remember...

upon further review...

I've noticed in previous posts, I've used the word "relaxed" a good number of times....please mentally replace that with "attempted to relax"...


that is all

Steve Irwin died over the weekend....how sad...at least he got to go doing what he loved.

wake up is now 5:30 am. I'm basically prepping myself for opening stores on the Outer Rim, like today. I opened the store in West Bend for the guy that manages that store while he took care of a matter at home. After he came in, I headed down to Brookfield to finish my day. I'm just going to force myself to get up no later than 6, but I'd like to be out the door by 6:15, a bit sooner, as was the case today. This means going to bed at a reasonable hour, unlike like what I did last night.

A good weekend. Partied with some friends on Saturday, watched the race Sunday night with friends, and went to the ballgame Monday with friends....I felt relaxed and rested actually, for the first time in a while. Maybe once I get a place squared up I'll relax a bit.

No plans tonight...just gonna listen to the ballgame, maybe do some reading if I can stay awake til I want to go to bed, maybe a movie...just trying to unwind.

Charlie's School of Marketing Blog

Charlie's School of Marketing Blog

For all those whiners out there.. this page is for you

For all those whiners out there.. this page is for you

I'm feeling a general level of stress lately. Part of it is work and all that goes with it. Part of it is money and still trying to figure out how to budget my money properly...you'd think at 30 I'd have this figured out. Part of it is trying to find a new place that isn't in the hood within the confines of previously mentioned budget.

Patience...

I feel adrift...and I know why...need to tune in

flux...

the only constant is change

the tiredness continues...I press on

I emailed regarding a place on the East side...great price and all utilities included...I'll know more soon

spent the weekend with John and Katie...just relaxing, eating and playing poker...a nice change of pace after work on Friday..

Friday...grrrr...I was NOT happy. All was fine until about 5 minutes til close...then it all went downhill...oh well...it happens...made getting out of town that much better..

wherever I may roam

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. It's been 8 days since my last post...

on the road for work the last week and a half...it's not too bad, so long as I don't mix up which store I'm at...remembering where each store keeps it's stock is the tricky part for me. Otherwise, I'm up daily at 6am to be at a satellite store by 7 and I'm done at 4:30...not bad...get's a little crazy at some of those stores.

Shakespeare is SOOOOO much better seen live than read. Got to see Julius Caesar on Saturday night with Holly and her folks at American Players Theatre in Spring...outdoors....very cool

Cirque de Soleil is pretty amazing...Sunday in Chicago...wow wow wow. It's like the circus if Brandon Brown did it...really wild and a bit out there :P

softball season is done...we won our final game to finish on a high note.

I find myself waiting...learning patience and waiting. Not trying to be too anxious about whatever happens next, but just living in the now and appreciating what I have in this moment, while looking ahead and seeing what may be on the horizon for me.

a rolling stone gathers no moss...

the apartment search has officially begun...I made a couple of calls tonight on places....92nd and Lisbon is already rented out, so no go on that one, but I found a studio in West Allis not too far from Holly's house that's affordable, as well as another studio not far from where I'm living now....I'll have a chance to look at the 'Stallis place maybe later this week...

on the road this week for work....Waukesha to Brookfield to Grafton yesterday, with today and the rest of the week in Oak Creek...

In flux on things right now...housing, movement on some things at church...missing my youth..haha...funny to hear myself say that...

if you don't mind, I'd like to ask for prayer; I've felt tired quite a bit lately, to the point of being weary. Even with a good night's sleep, I still wake up tired...thanx

to everything, there is a season

work is kicking into full swing for my "official" position...I've been in Oak Creek the last three days and I'll be in Waukesha tuesday, then Thursday and Friday in Waukesha...helping out more than covering, but on the road nonetheless...

I stopped by my old job tonight...said hi to most folks and chatted for a bit...I miss those guys...they asked when I was coming back..I just laughed...

Eric got the job in Minneapolis....I will continue to make plans to move by October 1st...where to...that's a good question...I guess I've ruled out the East side of town, as it's too far to commute for everything in my life...West Allis looks good...

The next six weeks should be very interesting...to say the least ;)


There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

moving?

I may be moving soon...Eric has a good shot at a job in Minneapolis, and Rob may very well follow him there...I don't think I can swing the rent on our current place by myself, so I've been looking at apartments online this evening.

I'm thinking studio...maybe East side, maybe not...less then $500...parking for sure...

we'll see where this ends up

so what is it you DO anyway?

spent half of my work day in Menomonee Falls, opening the store we have there. Interesting to say the least.

So what do I do? I work for an electrical parts house. Hein is the last of the independents in Milwaukee. Everyone else has been bought and become part of a larger entity.

Here's what my job entails:
I work at the counter. An electrician comes in, and tells me what he needs for the job he's working on. I fetch the parts, write up the order, get a signature from the electrician and he's on his way. In between waiting on electricians, the other folks on the counter and I put stock away on our side of the warehouse. We also pick orders that the inside sales team writes up.

I generally enjoy what I'm doing now...it's just been a LOT to learn...basically everything about electrical distribution in homes and business, as well as data comm. Some days are frustrating because I don't know what the electrician is asking for, or I grab the wrong item for a contractor who's short on time and needs to get back to the jobsite.

Another part of my job that will increase as my knowledge increases: I'm the swingman. I cover other stores when someone needs a day off. I work primarily at the Mothership in Brookfield, but I've also worked at our stores in the Falls, Oak Creek, Downtown Milwaukee and Grafton. I've been to every store except West Bend at this point, as I do the nightly truck run on Friday nights. I do the south stock run to Pewaukee, Waukesha, Oak Creek and Oconomowoc. Basically, the stores order from Brookfield, we build the skids of stock and someone drives the North run and someone else drives the South run. I'll be learning the North run this week as well, just so I can be a backup in case of vacations, illness, whatever...

a chance to relax....?

many thoughts, little energy to type...here we go

4:12...let's not give up yet guys and gals...

Israel/Lebanon...enough already

Bush/media...again...enough already...let the man run the country for crying out loud...

Boobs...yeah..I said it...when did such young girls develop so early? and why are they wearing clothes that reveal so much?

Milwaukee Brewers...I'd settle for more consistency fellas..please

work...learning more everyday

Bible...oh how I missed thee

Sunday mornings....I've missed some..and I'm going to miss some more...and I don't want to

iBook....love it love it love it

end of brain dump

patriotism

the thought on my mind all day today was not one of just being an American, but being a patriot. The difference? To me, a patriot stands up for the ideals of a movement, not just the movement itself. America was founded on the belief of certain inalienable rights, handed down from the Creator, to be extended to all mankind. It seems to me that lately other's rights don't matter nearly as much as "my" rights. People are quick to anger when they feel their "rights" have been stepped on, even in a minor insignificant way. Lawsuits prevail as a means of settling disputes, and no one talks out grievances anymore, except thru lawyers.

I found myself in awe last night as I was walking to join my friends at the fireworks. I live in a country that allows me the freedom to travel at will, because I have a freely given privilege to drive; to assemble en masse and not fear retribution; to question the very government that protects me; to speak my mind and read what I want. Where else in the world can I do this? Really..where? I fear the old ways of Communist Russia are returning; you can't be a Nazi in Germany; there's genocide everywhere: Bosnia, Serbia, all over Africa; Dictators oppress those who speak against them; to be a Christian in many areas of the world will get you killed...and yet here's we complain when someone tell us that Christ wasn't who he said he was, or that there is no God.

I find myself captivated by those around me who don't realize how blessed we have been...God bless America? He has...time and time again,and yet we've tried to, or allowed, Him to be pushed aside...why have I not been a patriot for the Kingdom of Heaven? Why have I not stood up for the very One who stands up for me and goes before me daily? Partly fear, partly indifference...afraid to be bold and look "foolish", not caring enough about others to reach out to them...

Friends, do not forget the One who does not forget us.

meat grinder

yesterday felt like I had been thru a meat grinder at work....left work super tired and more than a little frustrated....just one of those days I guess.

A few folks have emailed me or left me a note here asking how my transition to days has gone and how I feel about being back on days after being 2nd shift for so long. Overall, the transition has gone well, although I feel as though I never have enough time, only now it's because I'm scheduling more, instead of working at night. Meetings at church, softball, social obligations...things like that...It's just learing to re-adjust to my new schedule....so far it's been just under a month, and I'm confident my schedule will settle down soon...I hope so.....

The toughest part for me has been going to bed at a reasonable hour...my body still wants to go to bed after midnight, although I'm trying to go to bed sooner...ok..not really, but I want to.


Rob Bell in Chicago next Friday.....cool :)

what a weekend...

as soon as I got done with work on Friday, I was in the truck and headed for Illinois to my grandparents' house in Galesburg. Hit a spot of traffic just outside of Milwaukee, but other than that, smooth sailing. Managed to pick up the Brewer's game quite a ways down the road til the signal finally gave out.

Arrived at the grandparents' shortly after 9pm, got Saturday morning straightened out, hung out with my cousins from Texas then crashed after midnight. My job over the weekend was to drive my grandparents around for a family reunion, so I wanted to be rested for the drive.

Woke up, showered, light breakfast and off we were. Spent the day at Siloam Springs State Park catching up with family, chasing my sister's kids, or should I say, was chased by my sister's kids, eating, and making sure grandma and grandpa were as comfortable as can be despite the heat.

After phase one of the reunion was over, the grandfolks and I drove into Quincy to stay for the night. We had reservations at a nice little motel that is pretty unassuming from the outside. My cousin Barrett looked at me as I was bringing my bag into the motel and said "there's no internet jacks on the walls, I think we're screwed." I fired up my trusty ibook and sure enough, there was motel supplied wireless :) We were good to go after being assured we could get our internet fix.

Had dinner with some family from Michigan and back to motel to get the grandfolks to bed...Barrett and I made a Walmart run since we weren't content to sit at the motel all night....then off to bed after watching some ESPN and catching up on the World Cup.

right now it's breakfast....mostly the same crowd from dinner last night...the grandfolks and I will be heading back to their place after breakfast. I'll make a stop at my mom's and her folks as well before heading back to Milwaukee....I'm glad I'm working days now, otherwise I'd be so tired from changing my schedule....

a night to unwind

tonight I decided to stay in and not go anywhere....the last couple weeks have been full enough already, and so I said screw it and stayed home.  Laundry and chores were accomplished and bed will be soon enough....amazing how average my life feels now :P

so....

I've been a little busy lately....learning alot at the new job, evenings filled with softball, church meetings and various other things.

Friday, get done with work, come home, clean up a bit, pick up Ben and head to Mayfair to get tickets to see Cars...ate dinner, raided the Apple store, muddled around Mayfair, met up with Holly and saw the movie...loved it!! go see it....as a Nascar fan, I enjoyed all the little touches, but you don't have to be a racing fan to enjoy it :)

Yesterday was rather full....softball tournament in the morning that lasted 5(!) games. got some sore muscles and some sunburn, but overall it was a good chance to play ball.

in the evening was a surprise birthday party for a friend, with many folks attendance, including my friend Julie from Des Moines...hadn't seen Julie since Brandon and Emily's wedding 3 years ago, but we've kept in touch...so good to see her :)

I woke up today very sore and my sunburn itched like mad....so I stayed home from church...didn't want to...but I honestly didn't know how I would sit thru service. my legs are very sore from running and playing catcher yesterday...I've aloe'd up my sunburn to help ease the sting...I'm just waiting for the race to come on today, so to kill time I'm watching Mexico vs. Iran in the World Cup.

a new beginning

so today was the first day of the new job....things went pretty well I'd say. Lots of walking around the warehouse picking orders, learning the system. I didn't have as rough a time getting out of bed this morning as I thought I might, and I'll probably head to bed at 11 tonight to be up at 6:30. Next week I'll be up at the counter working directly with the customers, but for the rest of this week, I'm picking orders back in the warehouse.


I spent this evening just vegging out...listened to the Brewers game (ugh) and looked for some new podcasts to download....it's weird being home at this hour and not having to call into work....haha...oh well

one....more.....day

today is my last day at Industrial Wire....I know that grilling out is the plan for tonight, since there's a holiday this weekend, and after work, some of the guys are joining me at BW3s for a drink as a farewell. As much as I've complained about things at IEWC, I'm still going to miss certain things. Mostly the guys I work with and the friendships I've built with each one of them.

Tuesday starts anew...I think the toughest part will be the schedule adjustment, but I've got the weekend to help with that....I guess we'll see....

second guessing

Holly and I watched Serendipity on Sunday night. Cute movie, but it drove me nuts. Not because it's a "chick flick", but because the two protagonists were always so close to finding each other, and yet, so far away. Throughout the movie, after their chance meeting, fate seems to be pointing them back to each other, in spite of the fact that both of them are in committed relationships.

Why do I bring this up. After the movie, Holly and I ran to the grocery store to get something to fix for dinner. I shared with Holly what bothered me the most about that movie: the second guessing of one's decisions. I tend to second guess myself alot...I come across as confident sure of myself, but internally I wonder about my choices...I'll share with you the example I gave Holly.

Since most of the folks who read this are close friends, I can spare some history. When I was dating Sherri, I felt amazing. I was in love with a beautiful woman who loved God and who loved me. We prayed together, studied God's Word together..it was fantastic. So what happened? After all, I wanted to marry her...at some point, after about a year, we both realized our lives were headed in seperate directions: she to the mission field, and I...I didn't want to leave Milwaukee because I felt like I was called to work here. I started to withdraw from Sherri, and we talked about what was ahead for us and agreed to break off the serious part of our relationship and just be friends...easier said than done, but we managed. After we broke up, I spent the next several months (yes, months) wondering what in the hell I had done...had I just blown my best shot at marriage? Was I doomed to be single forever? Keep in mind I was only 26 at the time...I thought the world was going to end. Have I ever mentioned that I struggle with jealousy? When Sherri came to and Easter service at church with someone else I was so filled with jealousy. I had a hard time being in the same room when both of them were together. When Brian and Sherri's engagement was announced at church, I just put my head down and clapped politely. the two friends on my right caught my eye and smile weakly...Tori came up to me after the service and offered her sympathy. I didn't go to the wedding...Sherri asked, thru a mutual friend, if I wanted an invite, and I politely declined. Brian and Sherri had a few more months of training in Waukesha before heading to Oregon for a year. Can I admit that I was relieved that they were going to the mission field? That I wouldn't have to see them on a regular basis, as if to remind me of what I had NOT chosen...

Holly listened to me as we drove down to the Sentry in Tosa village and as we walked thru the store getting our items. At some point, in the bread aisle, I took her by the arm, looked into her eyes and said "I made the right decision with you" She smiled.

pushing on...even when I don't want to

this week has been long...10 hour days at work and not much time otherwise...I've been getting to bed later and later...last night was just after 6am...tonight will be more of the same I'm sure.

Why? I'm at church, it's 4:30am and I just finished pulling the network cable to tie the Mac into the network for Ben. (BTW Ben, you really ought to log out when you leave for the night...mmmmkay? PWND!!)

Why am I pullling network cable this late? I got done working at 2 and I had promised Ben that I would tie him in a couple days ago. Tonight I pushed thru, even though I had to take an unconventional route, do some drilling and eventually, I'll need to affix the cable to something more permanent...

Work has been tough too...the 10 hour days wear me out. I've agreed to stay on and finish out my two weeks and not take the second week as vacation to help out my boss and the guys I'm leaving behind...Holly thinks I'm crazy, but admires my loyalty. My boss wasn't surprised when I offered to stick it out and has thanked me a couple times already. Last night at work I had to fight off the desire to just pack it in and screw off for several hours...we're actually getting ahead for a change.

I'm going to go home now...and sleep I think....I'm hungry.,.....maybe a sandwich before bed....

transitions

this week at work we're pulling 10 hour days in an attempt to dig ourselves out of the hole sales keeps putting us in. I don't mind so much, except that it has really wiped me out in just two days...I was home by 2:30 this morning, walked the dog, and started working on a co-worker's computer....the caffeine finally wore off at 5 and I crashed...got out of bed about 2, grabbed a sandwich and I'm now mentally gearing myself up for tonight. I think the hardest part about 2nd shift for me has been the lack of social interaction with my friends. I see the guys at work, and I've gotten close to a few of them, but they aren't my friends I've had...follow me? I've got goofy hours that result in email tag with alot of my friends, and the occasional phone call during the week, and trying to see people on the weekends...

That all changes soon...I'm hoping to have some time, like a couple days, to adjust back to waking up in the morning, but nothing is too certain at this point.

follow up

ok, so if you've checked my blog since Friday, you will have noticed my short, cryptic post about being a daywalker....let me explain...no, that would take too long...let me sum up:

I start at Hein Electric Supply in two weeks. I'm going to start in the warehouse learning the shipping and receiving end, then I'll move to stocking and pulling and at some point, up to the front counter. I'm salaried, but not losing anything in the move financially, so I have nowhere to go but up. I made the move for two main reasons: 1. First Shift. I wanted my life back, to be able to make my meetings at church and not have to take vacation days to do it, to be able to play softball and soccer again, to see my friends on a regular basis, and most importantly, to see Holly more.

Thanx to everyone who dealt with my schedule this last year and a half...

C

preview of coming attractions

I will walk amongst the living as a daywalker again!!

opportunity..knocks?

so for the last few days I've been wrestling with a potential change in vocation. I have a friend who has contacts looking for an intelligent, well heeled person to fill a position at their various companies...my name was mentioned to both. Interviewed with one on Tuesday (since this IS wednesday morning) and was given a pretty good idea of what I'd be doing if hired...basically, helping build the most expensive condo on Milwaukee's lakefront. Sounds demanding...I'm still chewing on the thought. The other job I interview for in about 8 hours...

why do I bring these up...I was thinking about it at work tonight, and I'm not sure either one presents an opportunity I want to take, or as Holly has asked me, "would I be happy doing X?" I realize that while I don't enjoy what I do currently, I also don't want to bail out for the promise of greener pastures, only to find cow patties waiting for me...

I am a sheep

yeah, so I went and did it...now I'm just like all the cool kids...I have a mypace account...so far the coolest part of it is having friends I haven't heard from in forever write me, so that's good..we'll see what else comes of it I guess...

anticipation?

I feel as though I'm waiting for something, though I'm not sure what it is.

I know that I'm going to receive a reprimand from my boss due to my attendance so far this year. I've been sick more than I care to remember, but it's only been a day each time....the problem is, it's been more than a few times since the first of the year.

I feel like there's something else that I'm anticipating....what I don't know...and that's what's bugging me I guess...

I've got some irons in the fire, so to speak, so we'll see how those turn out...I've decided to be more of the person who would rather move and be stopped than stand still and not be moved

the weather today sucks...rain rain and more rain...and I'm sick again...stupid bronchitis....I managed to push thru it yesterday, but woke up this morning and my chest felt like it was on fire, so I didn't go to church today...there's not much on TV on a Sunday morning.

There is broadband at Holly's house now...her dad made the call and got DSL set up...I installed in on Friday, only to have some weird occurence happen that crippled the computer. It wasn't a virus or spyware, and I did get it figured out and get them back online last night.

mmmmm...lemon lift tea

Real life Super Mario » SpikedHumor.com

Real life Super Mario » SpikedHumor.com

yeah...flashbacks to my childhood

oh my....

so I'm at a client's house, waiting for a scan to get done, and I'm online and see the Seagate has introduced a 750 GB hard drive...WOW...now I want one...

My Savior My God

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at his right hand
Stands one who is my savior

I take him at his word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
For him to be my savior

That he would leave his place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my savior

My savior loves, my savior lives
My savior's always there for me
My God he was, my God he is
My God he's always gonna be

Yes, living, dying; let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That he who lives to be my king
Once died to be my savior

That he would leave his place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my savior

My savior loves, my savior lives
My savior's always there for me
My God he was, My God he is
My God he's always gonna be

I had a good night at work last night...my body hurts today, but last night was pretty smooth. I order that has me hurting today was 24 cuts by 89' each, piggybacked onto the same reel. When I was done, the order weighed about 1700 pounds..so I'm guessing the master reel I was pulling from was over 2000 pounds before I started. To get each cut moving, I had to pull enough off the master reel so the cable wouldn't slip out of the rubber bands I had holding the end on the reel I was putting the cable on...fun stuff

adding to the fun was a blink in the power about 11:25 last night...everything switched over to emergency power for about 10 minutes before the power came back on...wrap it up at 1 and go home.

I'm sponsoring a middle eastern child..you know where you can give like 70 cents a day to help feed, clothe, house and educate a child in a lesser developed area of the world? Yeah, I'm doing that..it's called owning an SUV. I filled my truck up last night for $55. I know, I lie in the bed I made (ok, I would if I made my bed), and it's not that much worse than my Ranger was, so I'm not complaining just to complain, I'm just letting everyone know that I spent $55 on gas last night. That was for 18 gallons of regular at $3.09 a gallon. The Ranger also had a slightly smaller tank, or at least a shorter neck to the tank...yeah, I'm one of "those" people who click all the way to the top of the neck :P

I've managed to recover from the cold I picked up over the weekend that made Easter less than fun for me...fear not, my plans for this weekend are unaltered!

boring?

so, I get an email from Holly's sister Katie, stating that both Holly and I have boring blogs. Well, I figure work's been a large part of my life lately, and I'm kinda tired of complaining about it, and I figure people are tired of reading about how much I complain about work, so that hasn't left me much to write about....until now..

The Ranger is dead...I somehow managed to break the passenger side leaf spring mounts, so the truck had a lean to it and it drove a little scary. Happened to see a car I liked, only to be told that it was gone once I got to the dealer. I noticed an Explorer on the lot...took it for a drive, bought it the next day. 1999 Ford Explorer 2 door, black with grey interior, 4x4, automatic, pretty much everything except leather and a moonroof...very nice indeed, and I got a good deal on it.

Saturday, pulled 4 hours overtime, came home and cleaned up, picked up Holly and headed to a "surprise" birthday party for my friend Brandon...I say "surprise" because he managed to figure it out...he's sly like that...after Buca's (yum!) it was back to Brandon's house to just hang out and chill with folks I don't get to see all that often. I had a beer (GUINESS!!) and Holly asked for my keys. Now, one beer does not get me anywhere near drunk, but I knew she wanted a reason to drive the new truck, so I gladly handed them over to her. She enjoys my new truck as much as I do ;)

Sunday, church in the morning, meeting right after church, home long enough to catch some of the race and a short nap, then back to church to set up for the worship night we were having. Overall, the worship night went well and we had a great mix in the crowd. Back home to hang out with Holly some more before the week starts.

Monday (today), did some laundry, checked my email, read some news, took the dog for a walk (and met two other dogs...RUN RUN RUN)...and here I sit typing before I head out the door to head to work. Half day today since I have a leadership meeting at church, but I may, if the workload dictates, got back in at midnight for a couple hours.

There you go...I wouldn't say that's exactly boring, but I don't know if it's entertaining for Katie :P

I've noticed lately that I've been more prone to becoming ill. Part of it may be the my body is simply aging and I need to start taking vitamins; I think the bigger part is how hard I'm pushing myself at work. I've never had to push this hard and I think it's taking it's toll on me physically. Friday comes and I wake up feeling beat up, I don't enjoy my weekends much and we (at work) don't see the relief coming anytime soon. I'm thankful for my job, and I realize that I'm here because of decisions I've made in my life.

interesting read, given today's culture...and by the way, if you are talking to me, I'll pull both ear buds out if it turns into a conversation


http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=410721

before I go to bed tonight, I'm gonna do some writing since it's been a while

I woke up today feeling refreshed for the first time in a while. I only slept 6 hours, but it was nice to not wake up and feel like I hadn't slept at all. Work went pretty smooth, even though we had to pull an extra couple hours as mandated by the boss...

I've had some good conversations lately with close friends...you know who you are...

I've seen people that I've missed...and realized how much I missed some of them, and how much I didn't miss the rest...

I love Holly more each day...and why, you ask? She lets me be me, in all my fractures, faults and failings, valiance, victories and vigor.

I know that my life isn't perfect, but I live in the hope that I am made perfect by Christ, the One who paid for me, a worthless sinful wretched person and that one day, I'll be next to Him...

I'm preparing to batten down the hatches, as I think it's going to get bumpy soon

it's been a long week

it's been a long week for me, and it's not over yet...

Monday...the inventory server at work went down...2nd shift called off....we'll work 4 ten hour day to make up the lost night

Tuesday...the cold I feared I had Monday has materialized...no work for Chad

Wednesday and Thursday....work 3:30 to 2, wind down, crash...up around 1 both days

Friday..up about 12:30ish..clean the bathroom, get ready for work, head to work...only to find out we have MANDATORY overtime on Saturday...12-4....I'll have to make arrangements with my assistant coach for my basketball game, since I won't be there to coach....last week too...oh..and I didn't quite beat my cold, so I think my bronchitis is flairing up now....dandy

I believe that Saturday night and Sunday I will do as little as possible so I don't wear myself out even more....lots of vitamin C and fluids are the order of the weekend...

what sucks is I was just getting into my groove when I was getting to bed at a reasonable time, and I let this week derail me....I'll start again next week, assuming we aren't up to our eyeballs in work....

ah, the joys of winter

have I ever mentioned that I love being sick? I hate head colds, espcially when they migrates to my to my chest. called in sick to work....we had last night off due to a computer problem with our inventory server, so we couldn't work. I'm feeling better now after a hot shower and some soup and OJ.

Not much else to report I suppose...I started reading Blue Like Jazz last night...so far I like it...hopefully I don't do my normal book reading thing and not finish it

I like hymns....

So Alan Jackson has a new cd of hymns out...I love hymns...and it's refreshing to hear them sung honestly, not just to end a service on a Sunday morning.

tired...so tired..10 hours

I'm attempting to start a routine.....up daily at 9:30am, in bed by no later than 3am...there's really no reason this shouldn't work, other than my lack of trying to go with it. I have plenty of time before work to do something productive, so I'm trying to make the best of it.

Today worked out well...Holly and I have been having breakfast together on Tuesdays for a few weeks now, since she has a late class on Tuesday. I resisted the urge to go back to bed after she left, as I've done the last couple weeks, and stayed up and worked on one of my computers, fixed lunch so I actually ate before work, and I'm about to head out the door to run an errand before work. I'll keep everyone updated...

there is a season...

as I often say, there's been alot on my mind.

Today was Mike's last Sunday at Ridgewood. I was pretty cool through the service until Mike started to do the Benediction. I started to cry...and grabbed Holly for support...

Now comes the uncertainty of not having a head pastor to shepherd our church...it won't be easy, but God willing, we'll survive....and not only survive but thrive.

This week will be a time for me to reflect....today I'm gonna relax while I can, catch some Nascar, coach a practice, then go to worship night at 4:12

Work will continue to push me. I've decided to go in, do my best every night, and go home..that's all I can do.

Opening day for the Brewers is April 3rd and I'll be there with a couple guys from work...should be a good time regardless of how the game turns out.

more fun at work

if you don't care for strong/harsh/foul language...stop reading now..I may go off





















now for those of you who stuck around, I'm still upset about work last night. Lately we've been under alot of pressure due to the high volume of sales our company has had. Those of us on 2nd shift in the warehouse have been staying for overtime to make sure we can get everything out the door on time...or mostly on time...and being the material handler I'm the one feeding the guys in respool...not an easy task.

What pissed me off about last night was that the temp we've got working with us assed off for the last 10 minutes of the regular shift, then talked with the lead guy for ten minutes into overtime, then went out for a smoke after that....30 mins of nothing getting cut...all while I'm trying to bust my ass to get out the door...I decided I'd had enough...finished the skid of back to stock I was working on, then went home...simple as that...if I'm not sick tomorrow (I feel a cold coming on), I'll probably get asked why I left by the lead, and I'll tell him why, in my totally calm manner...(note sarcasm)...

The other thing is the frequency of smoke breaks some of the guys take....like one an hour...ridiculous..

Last rant...a couple of us have brainstormed how financially sound a third shift would be; it would also prevent burn out (like I'm approaching) of the guys on both 1st and 2nd shift...it would safe us money, due to less OT being paid out, and would balance the work load tremendously...too bad no one in management wants to listen...

that's enough for now...I waited to type this out..had I done it right after work, there would have been a few f-bombs....glad I waited

"all work and no play..."

"...makes Homer go something something"

"go crazy?"

"Don't mind if I do..WWWOOOOOOOO!!"


yeah...that's basically how my week went. worked many 10 hour days because sales is kicking some serious butt...however, it means the warehouse is really having to step up to get everything out the door even close to on time...there were most night when we didn't get all the orders out..the "must ships" got out, but other not-so-important orders did not. My upper body is sore from pulling so much stock for the guys it's unreal...Friday was hellish bue to the fact that the guy on first shift pulling material left ALL his stock for us to put away....I didn't have to do it, just pulled orders all night...very frustrating time at work right now...I think this is gonna be the norm rather than the exception this year...but it's only been one month, so we'll see

on my geek front, I built a mid range gaming system for a guy I work with....screaming fast...like rocket sled on rails fast....on Monday I'll see how he likes it...but I was impressed with it once I got it built and started burning it in.

I've gone to Linux on my laptop...for those who may not know, Linux is an open source operating system..meaning no one company owns the rights to like, as in the way the Microsoft owns Windows. I using a particular distribution called Suse....very nice. I was going to go Linux sooner, but wireless support is a bit on the weak side....Lo and behold, Suse 10 has a pretty nifty built in networking setup that has fairly robust wifi support....I've already made some adjustments to get more comfortable with Linux, and it runs very well on my laptop...

Saturday was a mixed bag...in the morning I help move some friends who just bought a house...that went pretty smooth....the only real problem was that I had slept a grand total of 2 hours Friday night...bleah....Holly was tired too...we had my Upwards basketball game in the evening....my team got owned, as we same in gaming. We played well, but the other team was phenomenal...afterward, both Holly and I felt somewhat antisocial, so we ran a quick errand and then to the store to pick up dinner fixin's. I made my superb chicken breast..Holly loves it....we settled in and watched a movie, only to have both of us fall asleep and miss most of it...not a big deal...we were both so wiped out from out weeks that the rest did us both good...except now I can't fall asleep :P

I'm teaching at 4:12 in a couple weeks. We're going to start a James study next Sunday, and I want to be more prepared than just "hey, I'm teaching this week." I've been taking some time to reflect on God's Word and just how it impacts me in the midst of everything else in my life...I need to make the Word more of my daily refreshment...I've never really been good at it..I'll dig in for a day or so, or for a couple hours at a crack, but never consistently...

til next time
C

so I spent the better part of my Monday dealing with the thoughts and emotions I encountered on Sunday...went to work already tired, which didn't help my cause much...mondays are always heavy and tuesdays are worse...so the frustration in my life, coupled with work frustration led to slight lapses in mental precision...Nick asked me to move a pallet (of customer ordered wire) to staging so it could be packaged...I went and got a fork truck, had someone ask me something, and forget to grab the pallet...I simply put the fork truck back where I got it...oi

worked til about 1:30am....gassed up my truck and grabbed a frozen pizza in case I was hungry when I got home...I wasn't, so the pizza will survive to see another day...

I spent alot of tonight wondering what the future holds for my church...and what changes will take place...I'm still learning that the only constant is change, and I'm kind of getting used to being comfortable in uncomfortable situations...and I know that in the midst of everything, God is still God, and the world keeps turning because He wants it to...I just wish I wasn't so tired all the time and could enjoy my days a bit more...

the only constant is change

Pastor Mike tendered his resignation today at the church business meeting

I wasn't there...glad I wasn't...I'm still piecing together the thoughts and feelings I had when Ben called me with the news..I was on the road coming back from Naperville where Holly and I had just finished visiting with her sister and brother in law...

It'll all sink in...but the reality will hit at the end of February..

Dammit

so, it's even gloomy in Naperville..rained all day in Milwaukee yesterday. Holly and I stayed at her sister and brother-on-law's place last night. Holly now knows how to play Texas Hold'em, which is dangerous :P Slept in this morning since we were all up late, had cinnamon rolls for breakfast (well, we're going to...the rolls are in the oven now)...we'll hang out a bit longer then Holly and I have to get back to Milwaukee for our usual Sunday afternoon activities

a new title...

so I changed the name of my blog to reflect my musical tastes lately....I'm not ALL techno, but it makes feel so much better after a hard night at work, like last night...

Cascada....check them out...techno-esque enough that I don't mind

work Tuesday sucked horribly....I left so frustrated....last night went much smoother..I'm still latching on to material handling, but did much better last night...now it's trying to refine it enough so that I can get all that the job entails done in 8 hours, not 10...bleah

I'm not donating a kidney anymore.

I talked with Ewald over lunch yesterday and he's cool with my decision...he's been supportive of whatever decision I would make throughout all of this...

Why did I change my mind....well, there's something not sitting well with me, but I don't know how to explain it, but I just couldn't keep going, pretending it wasn't nagging me.

Part of me feels like I let Ewald down, but something tells me he'll be ok in the long run, that someone will step up and be a match...that same something tells me I've made the correct choice on this matter

random thoughts

work kicked my butt Monday night...I'm material handling now, which means I'm fetching and putting away reels for the respoolers...my shoulders were sore all day Tuesday

Business meeting went well, I thought, at church Tuesday night...breezed thru the budget itself in a little more than an hour...spent some time dreaming about how we would change the sanctuary when the time comes...

I got alot done at home after the meeting...several loads of laundry, got my room cleaned...stuff that I feel like I don't have time for, but do, I just don't take it...

seeing a pick up in computer calls coming my way....I'm liking that...

missing persons

Lately I've been thinking about the people that I miss. I miss them due to my work schedule, I miss them do to a change in their church habits...I just miss them.

I miss John and Jen...I was best man in their wedding this past summer...I've seen them a couple times since...

I miss my friend Brandon...he's the reason I moved to Milwaukee almost 7 years ago...

I miss Mark and Kathy, Randy and Shelly, John and Amy, Jim and Kathy, and a host of other people...it breaks my heart when people inside God's house hurt each other to the point where some people have no choice but to leave to find healing...

I miss my roommates....I get to see them more than I see other people, but not nearly as often as I'd like....

more progress

so a couple of days ago I pulled some network cable in my church....well, tonight I added another access point so we can make access easier (to those we give access to).

the office area is now in a wifi bubble...and I've got everything locked down good and tight.

I really need to sit down and document what I've done so far before I forget too much.

and techno doesn't sound so good on the main speakers...

feels like progress

so I'm sitting in the Underground, the youth room at my church, enjoying the success from pulling network cable so we have the network in here...I also got the network pulled into the gym office so Upwards is tied in....I've only been talking about running the cable for 3 months now....I'm glad I've got this part done...

and the times, they are a-changin'

in about 8 hours, I'm going to be standing in front of my church, declaring the new name of our young adult group and in some way, feeling like I'm blowing sunshine up people's dresses.

I say that b/c I'm tired of the games people play at church. How we all show up and pretend things are perfect and no one has issues (except the folks on the prayer list). I wish people could get over themselves and just worship....I wish I had a group of people I could meet with, as a ministry of the church, that share my schedule.

I'm tired of phoniness with people. I know who I can be real with on a Sunday morning, and who is just smiling and shaking my hand b/c they were told to after the first song of worship.

Amazingly, despite all of my "issues" with my church, I can't see my self anywhere else. I don't mind re-arranging my schedule to get up on a Sunday to attend with my fellow believers at Ridgewood. There are some great folks there...and I hope it's not too late to save the ship before she goes down.

work work work

so two days into the new year, and I'm averaging just over 10 hours a day at work...meaning, I go in at 3:30pm to start,and I haven't left before 1:45am...last night I left at 3am, came home, watched some Buffy with Rob, had a small glass of wine and went to bed at 5am. Do I feel like I accomplished something these last couple night...of course I do...I did 130,000 feet (about 25 miles) of wire last night in 10 hours or so, which is pretty darn good on a respool machine. Tonight at some point, I'll get trained on material handling, which means I'll be bringing wire out to the guys and putting away the wire they are done with. Should be fun.

I'm starting to have second thoughts about donating a kidney...not that I want to back out...but I'm feeling alot of anxiety over it all...I feel like UW-Madison, although very thorough, is taking too long....now they want me to see a psychiatrist due to something that came up during the psychological portion of my testing. Basically b/c I had a near suicide attempt during my senior year of high school and never sought counseling on it....that was 12 years ago...I think I'm ok people....but I also wonder if my "gung ho git 'r' done" attitude was misplaced in this venture...a case of right/wrong...right for Ewald, wrong for me...follow me?

oh well...these are the thoughts that rolled thru my head last night during overtime...I have more, but I have to head to work now to see what glorious fun awaits me tonight :P

CH

2006...a roaring start

back to work yesterday....only to have a ton of stuff to do, as sales had some sort of "end of the year" sale or something..a couple of monster orders over on the big machine, not too bad by me, but I still stayed 2 hours over to get ahead...tonight we (2nd shift) get to have a meeting with the company president about the future direction of the company..always fun (bleah)

I don't do New Year's Resolutions

2006 is almost here, and I'm sure most folks are thinking about the resolution they want to make for the new year...I hate that part...so trite...you know your gonna break it anyway...why not just make the resolution when it needs to be made, and stick to it?

one of my friends was sharing about scars http://brownsquirrel.blogspot.com/2005/12/scars.html and it made me wonder what I've come thru to get to this point in my life. I think I've had my share of bumps and bruises for sure...I don't think a day goes by when I wish I'd have finished college and gotten some kind of degree...but that probably wouldn't have guaranteed me any kind of job stability...

It's been said you can't teach character....and I mostly believe that. Character is taught, but not like manners or etiquette. Character is a life lesson, and a tough one at that...I realize that to have something meaningful written on my tombstone, I have to live my life with meaning now.

the first day back to work sucks...

especially after a long weekend. Christmas was great, as I thought it would be just because I'd get to see my family, and Holly's too. Got the drill I asked for, a 12V Makita cordless. Got a couple new pair of jeans. got to spend some quality time with Holly, not just two days.

What did you get?

¿so this is Christmas?

one of the things I like about my job is the non-retail part of it...I don't have to deal face to face with the people who bought the product I'm shipping out. I was thinking about this last night and just pondering that I really haven't gotten into "Christmas" yet, or at least as the world does. Christmas for me is so much more about my family than the gifts I give. It's about time shared with the ones I love. Don't get me wrong: I love giving gifts. I just prefer to give all year long, not just one day.

I think it was a couple of years ago that I really latched onto Christmas and my faith. We celebrate Christ's birth every December 25th...but shouldn't we celebrate it every day? Maybe some of you have beaten me to the realization, as I'm sure I'm not the first person to think of that...it's kind of funny in a way...Christmas and Easter...the time to attend church for the "casual" church goer...and yet so interconnected...without birth you cannot have death....and without Christ's death we cannot have everlasting life, or even life to it's fullest here on Earth.

Dear friends, I hope that you have a most excellent Christmas this year, wherever you are and whoever you are with.

it's been some time since I've put up a post with any real substance to it, so here goes.

I'm finally looking forward to Christmas. Over the last few years, it's taken me longer and longer to get to where I enjoy Christmas...partly because of work and stress, but mostly because I'm tired of what Christmas has become....espcially this year with the big debate of Christmas vs. Holiday...I've found myself saying Merry Christmas to anyone, but especially those who say Happy Holidays :P

work is going well. I'm getting a raise that takes effect after the new year, and I'm not that far off of a promotion in position, based on the time I've worked and the skills I've attained.

I've got to put brakes on my truck. Bob is gracious enough to lend me his driveway and tools to do the work. I'm hoping I don't have to put rotors on, just pads, but the sound when I press my brake pedal tells me I may have waited a bit too long...I'm pretty sure I can do all the work for under $100 in parts.

I finally got the new hard drive for my laptop...I was waiting for it to ship from the guy I purchased it from in Florida...It's in my laptop now and it's SO MUCH faster than it was...definately desktop replacement material.

Holly and I looked at rings last weekend....I was caught a bit off guard by price, but it'll all work out in the end :)

I think that's about it...

Chad

What would Jesus Drive?

What would Jesus Drive?

worth a laugh

random thoughts

there's nothing quite like cutting doughnuts in the fresh snow of a parking lot

people driving in the snow are morons...espcially in big cities

four wheel drive is good, but it doesn't help you stop

no I didn't hit anyone

fresh snow is beautiful

money sucks

Christmas is coming soon, and I still don't like Christmas music

I really want new tires for my truck, but can't really justify buying them until I need them

I miss my friends and it's mostly my schedule that does it to me

I was praised at work for my git 'r' done attitude

beginning...again

Romans 1:13-15 (NLT)
I want you to know, dear brothers and sisters, that I planned many times to visit you, but I was prevented until now. I want to work among you and see good results, just as I have done among other Gentiles. [14] For I have a great sense of obligation to people in our culture and to people in other cultures, to the educated and uneducated alike. [15] So I am eager to come to you in Rome, too, to preach God's Good News. (emphasis mine)

I decided I need to actually read my Bible...I keep finding silly excuses for not reading at least a little bit everyday. I keep a small Bible in my attack sack (my backpack), I have a Bible program on my computers for crying out loud. I can't use the excuse that I don't have time, because I do, I just choose to squander it on other things that are decidedly less important than my spiritual well-being.

Sunday night I had the privilege to worship with a band called Casting Crowns. They're a newer Christian band from the Atlanta GA area. The main focus of their music isn't the happy, "never have a bad day", CCM sugar coated stuff that all too often is played on radio (The Fish)...instead, they focus on kicking the church in the butt, in love of course. I felt my heart break as I thought about my church, and how we as a body are so quick to let each other settle on shallow things, rather than bleed together and wrap each other's wounds...and I know that Ridgewood isn't the only church like that, hence a generation of 20- and 30-somethings looking for love in all the wrong places, and not to God to supply the stuff of their hopes and dreams. My thought is: what am I doing to help point these people to God? Simply going to church doesn't do it...the guys I work with all know I go to church...am I living a life that show's Christ's love to them, so that I can be read by them as though I was the book? That's why I absolutely have to be in God's Word daily...

bleah

I hate being sick...I've managed to almost shake my head cold that's had me down for the last 2 days...my usual formula of lots of orange juice and rest is working, just taking a little longer than I would have liked. I probably could have gone into work, but didn't want to chance being to weak and having it all start over again...

so far I've managed to watch The Matrix, Monty Python and the Holy Grail and I'm working on Unbreakable right now.

it might be time for some more chicken noodle soup...

I get a kick out of how 2nd shift should stay behind and work overtime to "get ahead"...at least that's how my expiditer feels...so I stayed an extra hour tonight, even though I really didn't want to. Nothing says fun like working extra on the first day back from a long holiday weekend.....

another whirlwind tour

I'm sitting here thinking about the long weekend I just finished. Spent Thursday at Holly's folk's house with her family for Turkey day itself. Got a chance to chat with Holly's brother-in-law John and her sister Katy as well.

From here on out, "we" refers to Holly and I... ;)

Woke up late Friday morning as I negelected to turn on my alarm...I set it, but didn't fire it up before I fell asleep. Got a wake up call at 8:30 from Holly, who was patiently waiting for me at her place. Pick her up and hit the road. Mom call's about 9:30, telling me not be rush down as she's pushed dinner back from 1 to 4 so Tricia (my sister) and her family can make it over and not be rushed. Get to Mom's about 1 and sit for a while and talk and catch up with Mom and Terry (my stepdad). Tricia and the kids show up around 4ish and the three older girls attack Holly and start playing with her. My nephew Zach comes over and sits on my lap and we watch some TV...dinner is at 5. After dinner, Zach and I start watching a Spiderman cartoon on DVD, while Holly is once again being drug around the house by my 3 older nieces. Becca, my youngest niece, just does her own thing while all this is going on.

We head over to my maternal Grandparents house to visit with them, since I haven't seen them since April. Grandpa's talking about coming up to Wisconsin to go fishing again this year like he used to before his health started going crazy, and I told him that if he did, to call me and I'd join him. We were over there about an hour or so, then headed back to Mom's to retire. Holly and I stayed up and watch "The World is Not Enough" on the Bondathon on Spike TV...a girl who likes Bond movies...very cool

Saturday, we headed uptown in Monmouth to have breakfast with Mom and Terry, then back to their house to visit some more. Hit the road around 1 to head over to my Dad and stepmom's place. Visit with them before they have to leave to have dinner with some friends. Call Tricia and offer to pick up dinner on the way thru Pekin. Mmmmm...La Gondola....excellent. get to Tricia's and eat. Zach insists that I sit next to him, and the girls are once again, fighting over who gets to sit next to Holly. After dinner the kids start bringing the Christmas tree up from the basement, much to my sister's dismay. While the tree is getting set up, Jack (my brother-in-law) myself, Zach, and Jack's friend Russ are playing Burnout 3, trying to see who can get the most damage in a crash. for being 4, Zach does pretty darn good.
After much turmoil, most of the kids end up in bed, while Russ has headed home and Tricia, Jack, HOlly and I play trivial pursuit....guys vs girls....guys got beat, I'm sorry to say, but we were gracious about it. We played another game of Burnout, then headed to bed.

Woke up around 10 on Sunday morning. The kids my must have been tired, because I assumed that they'd all be up and running by 8. As I was getting my stuff together to get in the shower, I see Abby (my oldest niece) on the phone. She's talking to my stepmom about them coming over for brunch. It must have worked, cuz Dad, Julie (my stepmpm) and Barbie (one of my stepsisters) showed up around 12 for brunch. About 1:30 we get loaded up and head to a friend of mine to meet up with some old friends I haven't seen in a while. These are folks I used to hang out with in college and before I moved to Milwaukee. WE ordered pizza and spent the next 4 hours catching up with each other. Just about everyone is married: Brian and Jamie, Ruth and Tater, Cory and Vicky, Chris and Peggy. Couple of them have kids, and one couple is expecting their first child. While Ruth was eating, I held her daughter Sarah...3 months old...haven't held a newborn in a while. Neeedless to say, Sarah must have been REAL comfortable, cuz she filled her diaper to the point where it leaked onto me :P Never fear, baby fluids don't bother me...went out to the truck, grabbed my bag and changed clothes...Ruth kept apologizing, and I told her it was fine...I was used to it from Tricia's kids.

We start heading home just after 6. Stopped for dinner about 8 or so just to get off the road for a bit. Somewhere near Rochelle, IL, my muffler decides it wants to come off my truck. The exhaust had rusted through right in front of the muffler, so it was all still hanging from my truck and now dragging on the freeway. Get pulled over, grab a bungee cord from my toolbox and get the hanging part of the exhaust secured enough so it isn't dragging on the ground so we can get home....getting it fixed tomorrow I hope. Hit some thick fog after Beloit all the way into Milwaukee, so we took it slow. Got Holly home about 11:30, got her stuff in the house, kissed her goodnight and headed home.

that's my story, and I'm sticking to it ;)

Chad

what in the world??

what in the world??: "1. Mud On The Tires - Brad Paisley
2. Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley
3. I'm Gonna Miss Her - Brad Paisley
4. Alcohol - Brad Paisley
5. Listen to Your Heart (Hardbounze Single Edit) - D.H.T.
6. Stupid Girl - Cold
7. Holiday/Boulevard Of Broken Dreams - Green Day
8. Sex Machine (Get Up I Feel Like Being A), Pt. 1 - James Brown
9. People Of The Sun - Rage Against the Machine
10. Bulls on Parade - Rage Against the Machine
11. Killing In The Name - Rage Against The Machine"


this is what I listened to as I fixed Pastor Mike's laptop....yeah...ecclectic :P

one more day!!

ok, so one more day of work this week...the first two have sucked so far....I'm glad for a long weekend so I can recover. I've been getting my cynical with work lately, and this break will hopefully quell that somewhat.

enough about work...I'm currently working on Pastor Mike's laptop...seems he lunched a hard drive...quick trip to the Large Retail Chain for a replacement and we're back in business....the tricky part will be recovering the data from his old hard drive....I may have an ace or two up my sleeve, but I promise nothing on a bad hard drive, as I told Mike.

Give an old Mac new life by turning it into an iWipe

Give an old Mac new life by turning it into an iWipe

poop different

a little overtime

so, tonight I got my start at material handling at work...we're still
here putting stuff away the first shift decided to leave behind...fun
fun fun...

laptops for the poor

FORTUNE: World's first working $100 laptop - Nov. 16, 2005

gotta hand to this guy...very ambitious, and yet, I think he's going to pull it off in the end...

funny how the days roll by

ok, so sunday night at Bible Study, the question was asked "what encourages you?" I said that lately the fall colors were amazing and I loved them....too bad those colors are all gone now...replaced by gray drabbiness....sigh...

was up earlier than usual for a client call today, only to show up at the clients house and have her not be there. Got a call half an hour later, asking if I had been to her home....never fear, I've rescheduled for Thursday.

not much going on this week...or...I guess there is. Aside from rescheduled client, I'm at the church tomorrow taking care of some issues, and maybe running down to Palmyra on Saturday, as well a bonfire Saturday night, and if I can make it downtown, a birthday party. We'll see how the body feels at the end of the week.

becoming unforgettable

I've been thinking lately about the people who have into, and in many cases, left my life. Sometimes these people left on their own accord, sometimes it was my choice, like with my move to Milwaukee.

There was this kid in kindergarten named Justin. Justin used to eat his crayons and drink his glue on an almost what seems like weekly basis. I kid not you, I'd turn around and look at him, and he'd be having lunch.

I remember a little blonde girl named Michelle, also from kindergarten. my first kiss. I believe her family moved that summer before first grade.

my friend Brandon. has a charm about him that I sometimes loathe, espcially after we graduated high school during the first summer. It seemed like I couldn't take him anywhere without hearing "excuse me, are you Brandon Brown?" It would make me want to scream...sometimes I did :P B is someone, who when you meet them, leave an impression on you that stays with you.

I know that I'm a person who people don't easily forget. For a while, when we did the Gathering on Tuesday nights in the Small Sanctuary at Ridgewood, people wouldn't remember my name, but they knew who I was..."The Loud One." Often, when someone else from the Gathering was out with a friend, the friend would mention me by name. The person would ask who?, and the friend would say..."Chad...The Loud One..."...and the person would be like..OH YEAH..Him!!! he's crazy! etc etc

I wonder now what I do on a daily basis to become unforgettable to people...unforgettable in a good way. It's ironic that often the people that stick in our brains are the ones who've offended us....for example, if I'm cut off in traffic, I can tell you the car, color and often license plate of the offender, as well as the gender, hair color and clothing. That just how I'm wired...snapshot detail. I think sometimes I have too good of memory for recall on things like that, when there are times I can't find my keys...

back to my point....what am I doing, daily, to be positively unforgettable?

find a way to become unforgettable to people....

more to come

I'm feeling tired again lately, and not wanting to get out of bed until I have to...like today...alarm set for 11:30, got up, ate breakfast, went back to bed with my alarm set for 1:30....laid in bed til 2. schedules all wonky lately....makes it tough to function normally

if I were a hero, I'd be....

You scored as William Wallace. The great Scottish warrior William Wallace led his people against their English oppressors in a campaign that won independence for Scotland and immortalized him in the hearts of his countrymen. With his warrior's heart, tactician's mind, and poet's soul, Wallace was a brilliant leader. He just wanted to live a simple life on his farm, but he gave it up to help his country in its time of need. William Wallace 79% Neo, the "One" 75% James Bond, Agent 007 71% Maximus 71% Batman, the Dark Knight 71% Lara Croft 71% Captain Jack Sparrow 63% Indiana Jones 58% The Terminator 54% El Zorro 54% The Amazing Spider-Man 54% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

of thunderstorms and circuit boards

as I posted before, nothing much planned for today....dropped a new hard drive in my Mac so I could use the drive that was in it for a client's PC. Holly had lunch with a friend, then came to my place, only to fall asleep on the couch in the living room. I'm not going to wake her...we both had long weeks and are up for a whole bunch of nothing tonight...well, maybe dinner at Saz's later on...

I'm a little surprised there's a thunderstorm in November...in my mind, storms usually only happen in the summer, but who am I to predict or control the weather??

Saturday afternoon...and I don't have much planned at all. Work was tough this week, as we shipped ALOT of wire. Business is up and that's good, but it's also hard because we're short two guys on nights, and we had two more guys missing at some point this week. To top it all off, I couldn't sleep last night. Part of it was my mind racing, thinking about the past week. Another part was that I didn't WANT to go to sleep...and I don't know why....just felt like staying up...

I've got some invites do to stuff today...poker night at a friends house, the symphony...but I really don't feel like doing anything..I have a computer to fix, and one I want to finish for the church, and maybe a run to Harold's to sort thru his pile of computers parts so I have some stock on hand...but I just want to veg today. Last weekend was go go go, and I didn't have a chance to rest as much as I usually do and just hang out with people.

I got a called from UW-Madison hospital yesterday. More testing in the works for the kidney donation. Couple things they want to be sure of before giving me the go ahead and proceding. I think the anxiety of waiting is more detrimental to my health than anything else I'm doing lately...haha

til next time
Chad

random thoughts for today

why is my cat a spaz?

why is it, that even though I slept more on Monday night, that I feel better today?

when's the first good snow gonna happen?

will the Packers win another game this year?

why is my room always a mess?

Why is it, that when a conservative is in office, he/she is blasted by the media for every move they make, but when a liberal is in the same office, no one notices what they do?

Why did God pick blue for the sky?

Why did God pick blue for Holly's eyes?

tired

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28


Hey God,
I'm tired alot lately. Could I have some restful sleep, and some not so tiring days soon, before I go nuts?

Thanx
Chad


I knew when I got up today that I was tired. I woke up at 10:45am, ate breakfast, and then felt drained, right about 11:15 or so. Put on Rhapsody and laid in bed...fell asleep..woke up at 2pm. Showered, packed dinner and headed off to work. Busted my tail getting everything out, which was ALOT today. About midnight, two people mentioned how tired I looked. ONe was Nick, my material handler, the other my boss Jim. I knew I felt tired, but I also looked tired. I stayed for some overtime, then headed to the church to setup a computer logon for the new secretary, all the while thinking about my bed. I started wondering what's making me so tired. I'm getting enough hours of sleep at night. Is there something stressing me out? Am I'm worrying about something and I'm just not aware of it? For the live of me, I can't think of anything....and that's going to keep me up thinking too.

I'm thinking Saturday's gonna be a light one this week, to be my Sabbath day of sorts. I'd like to figure out how to make sure my time of relaxation is, well, relaxing. How I can rest in the Lord and be refreshed.


'til next time

C

what am I waiting for?

I feel like I'm waiting for something ....I'm not sure what though. I know that today I was very tired, and almost looked forward to going to work, so I wouldn't have to think about what was next, just do my job. Right now, I'm drained, physically and mentally, and I'm not sure why to be honest. I know that I'm weak right now, and the smart thing for me to do would be to go to bed soon. I don't want to though, and I plan to either work on one of my project boxes (computers) or tinker with my Mac. As long as I keep myself out of trouble online, I'll be happy tomorrow.

Back to my thought...I feel as though I'm waiting for the "next big thing" in my life. I've been thinking about long term plans alot lately. I know that I want to marry Holly and spend the rest of my life with her. I know that I want to buy a house, more specifically, rental property. I know that I don't want to work second shift much longer. I know that I want my church to change, but I don't know what that looks like, or how it would be accomplished. I know that not many things satisfy me lately. I know that I need to focus on my relationship with Christ in order to shake some of my uncertainty. I know that I'm anxious about my potential surgery, while the ones who love me are nervous.

I've also been thinking about "growing up" alot lately. What does it mean to be "grown up"? Does it mean bills, a mortgage, marriage and kids? Is it a state of mind, or maturity? Lately I've "felt" more grown up with all the responsibilities I have now. I'm a trustee at church; I help lead the young adult ministry at church; I have a full time job; I have a significant other that I enjoy spending time with; I have a cat; I worry about money...these to me seems like things that "grown ups" have and/or do. There are days when I don't feel like I'm almost 30, and then there are days like today, where my whole body hurts from playing too much dodgeball on Saturday night, and I can't quite shake it off like I used to.

I know that I'm learning patience right now...Holly and I talked about wedding timing this weekend. I brought it up because I wanted to know her timeline and what she is comfortable with. She'd like to finish her schooling first, which means another year and a half...I'd rather not wait that long...but I also don't want to push her too hard either. I'm also patiently waiting for "that next big thing."

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7