I'm attempting to start a routine.....up daily at 9:30am, in bed by no later than 3am...there's really no reason this shouldn't work, other than my lack of trying to go with it. I have plenty of time before work to do something productive, so I'm trying to make the best of it.

Today worked out well...Holly and I have been having breakfast together on Tuesdays for a few weeks now, since she has a late class on Tuesday. I resisted the urge to go back to bed after she left, as I've done the last couple weeks, and stayed up and worked on one of my computers, fixed lunch so I actually ate before work, and I'm about to head out the door to run an errand before work. I'll keep everyone updated...

there is a season...

as I often say, there's been alot on my mind.

Today was Mike's last Sunday at Ridgewood. I was pretty cool through the service until Mike started to do the Benediction. I started to cry...and grabbed Holly for support...

Now comes the uncertainty of not having a head pastor to shepherd our church...it won't be easy, but God willing, we'll survive....and not only survive but thrive.

This week will be a time for me to reflect....today I'm gonna relax while I can, catch some Nascar, coach a practice, then go to worship night at 4:12

Work will continue to push me. I've decided to go in, do my best every night, and go home..that's all I can do.

Opening day for the Brewers is April 3rd and I'll be there with a couple guys from work...should be a good time regardless of how the game turns out.

more fun at work

if you don't care for strong/harsh/foul language...stop reading now..I may go off





















now for those of you who stuck around, I'm still upset about work last night. Lately we've been under alot of pressure due to the high volume of sales our company has had. Those of us on 2nd shift in the warehouse have been staying for overtime to make sure we can get everything out the door on time...or mostly on time...and being the material handler I'm the one feeding the guys in respool...not an easy task.

What pissed me off about last night was that the temp we've got working with us assed off for the last 10 minutes of the regular shift, then talked with the lead guy for ten minutes into overtime, then went out for a smoke after that....30 mins of nothing getting cut...all while I'm trying to bust my ass to get out the door...I decided I'd had enough...finished the skid of back to stock I was working on, then went home...simple as that...if I'm not sick tomorrow (I feel a cold coming on), I'll probably get asked why I left by the lead, and I'll tell him why, in my totally calm manner...(note sarcasm)...

The other thing is the frequency of smoke breaks some of the guys take....like one an hour...ridiculous..

Last rant...a couple of us have brainstormed how financially sound a third shift would be; it would also prevent burn out (like I'm approaching) of the guys on both 1st and 2nd shift...it would safe us money, due to less OT being paid out, and would balance the work load tremendously...too bad no one in management wants to listen...

that's enough for now...I waited to type this out..had I done it right after work, there would have been a few f-bombs....glad I waited

"all work and no play..."

"...makes Homer go something something"

"go crazy?"

"Don't mind if I do..WWWOOOOOOOO!!"


yeah...that's basically how my week went. worked many 10 hour days because sales is kicking some serious butt...however, it means the warehouse is really having to step up to get everything out the door even close to on time...there were most night when we didn't get all the orders out..the "must ships" got out, but other not-so-important orders did not. My upper body is sore from pulling so much stock for the guys it's unreal...Friday was hellish bue to the fact that the guy on first shift pulling material left ALL his stock for us to put away....I didn't have to do it, just pulled orders all night...very frustrating time at work right now...I think this is gonna be the norm rather than the exception this year...but it's only been one month, so we'll see

on my geek front, I built a mid range gaming system for a guy I work with....screaming fast...like rocket sled on rails fast....on Monday I'll see how he likes it...but I was impressed with it once I got it built and started burning it in.

I've gone to Linux on my laptop...for those who may not know, Linux is an open source operating system..meaning no one company owns the rights to like, as in the way the Microsoft owns Windows. I using a particular distribution called Suse....very nice. I was going to go Linux sooner, but wireless support is a bit on the weak side....Lo and behold, Suse 10 has a pretty nifty built in networking setup that has fairly robust wifi support....I've already made some adjustments to get more comfortable with Linux, and it runs very well on my laptop...

Saturday was a mixed bag...in the morning I help move some friends who just bought a house...that went pretty smooth....the only real problem was that I had slept a grand total of 2 hours Friday night...bleah....Holly was tired too...we had my Upwards basketball game in the evening....my team got owned, as we same in gaming. We played well, but the other team was phenomenal...afterward, both Holly and I felt somewhat antisocial, so we ran a quick errand and then to the store to pick up dinner fixin's. I made my superb chicken breast..Holly loves it....we settled in and watched a movie, only to have both of us fall asleep and miss most of it...not a big deal...we were both so wiped out from out weeks that the rest did us both good...except now I can't fall asleep :P

I'm teaching at 4:12 in a couple weeks. We're going to start a James study next Sunday, and I want to be more prepared than just "hey, I'm teaching this week." I've been taking some time to reflect on God's Word and just how it impacts me in the midst of everything else in my life...I need to make the Word more of my daily refreshment...I've never really been good at it..I'll dig in for a day or so, or for a couple hours at a crack, but never consistently...

til next time
C

so I spent the better part of my Monday dealing with the thoughts and emotions I encountered on Sunday...went to work already tired, which didn't help my cause much...mondays are always heavy and tuesdays are worse...so the frustration in my life, coupled with work frustration led to slight lapses in mental precision...Nick asked me to move a pallet (of customer ordered wire) to staging so it could be packaged...I went and got a fork truck, had someone ask me something, and forget to grab the pallet...I simply put the fork truck back where I got it...oi

worked til about 1:30am....gassed up my truck and grabbed a frozen pizza in case I was hungry when I got home...I wasn't, so the pizza will survive to see another day...

I spent alot of tonight wondering what the future holds for my church...and what changes will take place...I'm still learning that the only constant is change, and I'm kind of getting used to being comfortable in uncomfortable situations...and I know that in the midst of everything, God is still God, and the world keeps turning because He wants it to...I just wish I wasn't so tired all the time and could enjoy my days a bit more...

the only constant is change

Pastor Mike tendered his resignation today at the church business meeting

I wasn't there...glad I wasn't...I'm still piecing together the thoughts and feelings I had when Ben called me with the news..I was on the road coming back from Naperville where Holly and I had just finished visiting with her sister and brother in law...

It'll all sink in...but the reality will hit at the end of February..

Dammit

so, it's even gloomy in Naperville..rained all day in Milwaukee yesterday. Holly and I stayed at her sister and brother-on-law's place last night. Holly now knows how to play Texas Hold'em, which is dangerous :P Slept in this morning since we were all up late, had cinnamon rolls for breakfast (well, we're going to...the rolls are in the oven now)...we'll hang out a bit longer then Holly and I have to get back to Milwaukee for our usual Sunday afternoon activities

a new title...

so I changed the name of my blog to reflect my musical tastes lately....I'm not ALL techno, but it makes feel so much better after a hard night at work, like last night...

Cascada....check them out...techno-esque enough that I don't mind

work Tuesday sucked horribly....I left so frustrated....last night went much smoother..I'm still latching on to material handling, but did much better last night...now it's trying to refine it enough so that I can get all that the job entails done in 8 hours, not 10...bleah

I'm not donating a kidney anymore.

I talked with Ewald over lunch yesterday and he's cool with my decision...he's been supportive of whatever decision I would make throughout all of this...

Why did I change my mind....well, there's something not sitting well with me, but I don't know how to explain it, but I just couldn't keep going, pretending it wasn't nagging me.

Part of me feels like I let Ewald down, but something tells me he'll be ok in the long run, that someone will step up and be a match...that same something tells me I've made the correct choice on this matter

random thoughts

work kicked my butt Monday night...I'm material handling now, which means I'm fetching and putting away reels for the respoolers...my shoulders were sore all day Tuesday

Business meeting went well, I thought, at church Tuesday night...breezed thru the budget itself in a little more than an hour...spent some time dreaming about how we would change the sanctuary when the time comes...

I got alot done at home after the meeting...several loads of laundry, got my room cleaned...stuff that I feel like I don't have time for, but do, I just don't take it...

seeing a pick up in computer calls coming my way....I'm liking that...

missing persons

Lately I've been thinking about the people that I miss. I miss them due to my work schedule, I miss them do to a change in their church habits...I just miss them.

I miss John and Jen...I was best man in their wedding this past summer...I've seen them a couple times since...

I miss my friend Brandon...he's the reason I moved to Milwaukee almost 7 years ago...

I miss Mark and Kathy, Randy and Shelly, John and Amy, Jim and Kathy, and a host of other people...it breaks my heart when people inside God's house hurt each other to the point where some people have no choice but to leave to find healing...

I miss my roommates....I get to see them more than I see other people, but not nearly as often as I'd like....

more progress

so a couple of days ago I pulled some network cable in my church....well, tonight I added another access point so we can make access easier (to those we give access to).

the office area is now in a wifi bubble...and I've got everything locked down good and tight.

I really need to sit down and document what I've done so far before I forget too much.

and techno doesn't sound so good on the main speakers...

feels like progress

so I'm sitting in the Underground, the youth room at my church, enjoying the success from pulling network cable so we have the network in here...I also got the network pulled into the gym office so Upwards is tied in....I've only been talking about running the cable for 3 months now....I'm glad I've got this part done...

and the times, they are a-changin'

in about 8 hours, I'm going to be standing in front of my church, declaring the new name of our young adult group and in some way, feeling like I'm blowing sunshine up people's dresses.

I say that b/c I'm tired of the games people play at church. How we all show up and pretend things are perfect and no one has issues (except the folks on the prayer list). I wish people could get over themselves and just worship....I wish I had a group of people I could meet with, as a ministry of the church, that share my schedule.

I'm tired of phoniness with people. I know who I can be real with on a Sunday morning, and who is just smiling and shaking my hand b/c they were told to after the first song of worship.

Amazingly, despite all of my "issues" with my church, I can't see my self anywhere else. I don't mind re-arranging my schedule to get up on a Sunday to attend with my fellow believers at Ridgewood. There are some great folks there...and I hope it's not too late to save the ship before she goes down.

work work work

so two days into the new year, and I'm averaging just over 10 hours a day at work...meaning, I go in at 3:30pm to start,and I haven't left before 1:45am...last night I left at 3am, came home, watched some Buffy with Rob, had a small glass of wine and went to bed at 5am. Do I feel like I accomplished something these last couple night...of course I do...I did 130,000 feet (about 25 miles) of wire last night in 10 hours or so, which is pretty darn good on a respool machine. Tonight at some point, I'll get trained on material handling, which means I'll be bringing wire out to the guys and putting away the wire they are done with. Should be fun.

I'm starting to have second thoughts about donating a kidney...not that I want to back out...but I'm feeling alot of anxiety over it all...I feel like UW-Madison, although very thorough, is taking too long....now they want me to see a psychiatrist due to something that came up during the psychological portion of my testing. Basically b/c I had a near suicide attempt during my senior year of high school and never sought counseling on it....that was 12 years ago...I think I'm ok people....but I also wonder if my "gung ho git 'r' done" attitude was misplaced in this venture...a case of right/wrong...right for Ewald, wrong for me...follow me?

oh well...these are the thoughts that rolled thru my head last night during overtime...I have more, but I have to head to work now to see what glorious fun awaits me tonight :P

CH

2006...a roaring start

back to work yesterday....only to have a ton of stuff to do, as sales had some sort of "end of the year" sale or something..a couple of monster orders over on the big machine, not too bad by me, but I still stayed 2 hours over to get ahead...tonight we (2nd shift) get to have a meeting with the company president about the future direction of the company..always fun (bleah)

I don't do New Year's Resolutions

2006 is almost here, and I'm sure most folks are thinking about the resolution they want to make for the new year...I hate that part...so trite...you know your gonna break it anyway...why not just make the resolution when it needs to be made, and stick to it?

one of my friends was sharing about scars http://brownsquirrel.blogspot.com/2005/12/scars.html and it made me wonder what I've come thru to get to this point in my life. I think I've had my share of bumps and bruises for sure...I don't think a day goes by when I wish I'd have finished college and gotten some kind of degree...but that probably wouldn't have guaranteed me any kind of job stability...

It's been said you can't teach character....and I mostly believe that. Character is taught, but not like manners or etiquette. Character is a life lesson, and a tough one at that...I realize that to have something meaningful written on my tombstone, I have to live my life with meaning now.

the first day back to work sucks...

especially after a long weekend. Christmas was great, as I thought it would be just because I'd get to see my family, and Holly's too. Got the drill I asked for, a 12V Makita cordless. Got a couple new pair of jeans. got to spend some quality time with Holly, not just two days.

What did you get?

¿so this is Christmas?

one of the things I like about my job is the non-retail part of it...I don't have to deal face to face with the people who bought the product I'm shipping out. I was thinking about this last night and just pondering that I really haven't gotten into "Christmas" yet, or at least as the world does. Christmas for me is so much more about my family than the gifts I give. It's about time shared with the ones I love. Don't get me wrong: I love giving gifts. I just prefer to give all year long, not just one day.

I think it was a couple of years ago that I really latched onto Christmas and my faith. We celebrate Christ's birth every December 25th...but shouldn't we celebrate it every day? Maybe some of you have beaten me to the realization, as I'm sure I'm not the first person to think of that...it's kind of funny in a way...Christmas and Easter...the time to attend church for the "casual" church goer...and yet so interconnected...without birth you cannot have death....and without Christ's death we cannot have everlasting life, or even life to it's fullest here on Earth.

Dear friends, I hope that you have a most excellent Christmas this year, wherever you are and whoever you are with.

it's been some time since I've put up a post with any real substance to it, so here goes.

I'm finally looking forward to Christmas. Over the last few years, it's taken me longer and longer to get to where I enjoy Christmas...partly because of work and stress, but mostly because I'm tired of what Christmas has become....espcially this year with the big debate of Christmas vs. Holiday...I've found myself saying Merry Christmas to anyone, but especially those who say Happy Holidays :P

work is going well. I'm getting a raise that takes effect after the new year, and I'm not that far off of a promotion in position, based on the time I've worked and the skills I've attained.

I've got to put brakes on my truck. Bob is gracious enough to lend me his driveway and tools to do the work. I'm hoping I don't have to put rotors on, just pads, but the sound when I press my brake pedal tells me I may have waited a bit too long...I'm pretty sure I can do all the work for under $100 in parts.

I finally got the new hard drive for my laptop...I was waiting for it to ship from the guy I purchased it from in Florida...It's in my laptop now and it's SO MUCH faster than it was...definately desktop replacement material.

Holly and I looked at rings last weekend....I was caught a bit off guard by price, but it'll all work out in the end :)

I think that's about it...

Chad